Posted: April 24, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: Anthony, Binny, Chicken, Fiction, Foster care, Great Homer Street Market, Greaty Market, Humour, Iceland, Jack, Liverbirds, Liverbuildings, Liverpool, Liverpool Docks, Me Ma, Mersey, Merseyside, Myths, Penny Salerno, Pete, Pier Head, Prison, Regal, River Mersey, School, Stories, Youth
Half Cormorant – half mythical bird! Photo by Jilly Gardiner
I never did hand Jack into the cop shop! How could I be the one who put him in foster care? The poor kid would probably end up like me – I don’t want to be responsible for that! So we had an agreement; me and me ma…. She’d be around for him in the daytime while I was at school, and I’d look after him at night while she went the boozer. Binny was around sometimes, but was always slagging off Jack’s ma for being put in the slammer for robbing frozen chickens from Iceland (the shop, not the country!). Me ma told me that Jack’s ma was caught with a chicken in each bra cup, and only got found out because one of the frozen chickens dropped out as she left the shop and broke three of her toes (so she couldn’t leg it from security!). All I could think about was how big her knockers must have been to have a full chicken in each bra cup! Wish I’d been there!
Anyway, It turned out that Jack’s ma was on probation for when she got caught robbing wallets off her punters while they slept.. so they sent her straight back to the slammer after the frozen chicken incident. Binny was well pissed off that it meant HE had to be responsible for Jack, so he did hardly nothing for him – that’s where I come in.
Me and Jack, we’ve got dead close in the past few months.. he’s like my brother. Now the weather’s getting better I take him fishing down the dock, and we share pie and chips at our chippy. Every Saturday I still work on The Butty Van with Pete at Greaty Market… Jack comes too. Pete’s dead sound and lets Jack use his mobile phone to play games on while I’m serving hot dogs with extra onions and cups of tea. Then Pete gives me and Jack some top scran which we stuff in until our bellies nearly burst.
Jack keeps asking me about the Liverbirds on top of the Liverbuildings, and why they don’t fly away… so I make up loads of stories about them. They say that Liverpool would fall into the sea if the Liverbirds flew away…. so I tell Jack stories about the time when the Liverbirds flew away and the city collapsed into the Mersey. He cried for hours when I told him about how everyone in Liverpool nearly drowned. I felt so guilty that I told him that the Liverbirds had flown to every country and city around the world, but had come home to Liverpool because they couldn’t find anywhere better. So everybody in Liverpool was saved, and didn’t drown – and they all lived happily ever after. That made Jack dry his tears and smile again.
Yep…. everything’s going good! That might be ’cause I turned fifteen the other day – and my luck’s changing… no prezzies though. Penny Salerno has started looking at me again, even smiling sometimes! She’s still not letting me walk her home from school yet though, but I’m working on it. Anthony and Susan still have me round for my tea twice a week, and they let Jack come too! And me and Jack go to Ray’s house every Sunday and take my dog Regal for a dead long walk. Ray says Regal crashes out for about 24 hours after I’ve walked him on Sundays…. He’s a card that dog!
And today the sun was shining (a bit)… A good feeling! I’m happy….. me and Jack and the people of Liverpool are happy, ’cause the Liverbirds are sitting pretty on top of the Liverbuildings, watching over us all!
Posted: February 17, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: Albert Dock, Binny, Cop Shop, Echo Arena, Fiction, Humour, Jack, Liverpool, Liverpool Docks, Liverpool Wheel, Me Ma, Mersey, Merseyside, River Mersey
The Wheel – Liverpool
Me ma did come home… eventually. She was half cut and had a job to climb the stairs to bed. I’d been listening out for her most of the night, so eased myself off the floor with my bad ribs when I heard the door go. It was nearly five in the morning, but that was nothing new for me ma. Jack (the kid) was sleeping like a log so I caught me ma on the landing as she staggered to her bedroom.
‘Who’s the kid?’ I said. She just stood there swaying from side to side.
‘Kid?’ She goes.
‘Yeh, the kid you left here when you f&cked off down the boozer!’
Her eyes couldn’t focus on me properly, but she opened them wider as if she suddenly knew what I was on about, ‘Oh, the kid!’ She pushed passed me to her bedroom, slurring back to me… ‘Binny’s…. it’s Binny’s’.
‘Binny’s!’ I shouted, but she’d disappeared into her bedroom. ‘Where the f&ck’s Binny then!’
This tiny kid, fast asleep on my bed… How could he be Binny’s kid? I was so mad with me ma and Binny that I didn’t go back to sleep.. I just sat there watching Jack sleeping.
Next morning me and Jack were up and out by nine o’clock… I had it in my head that I’d take him down the cop shop and hand him in; I can’t let the poor little get be dragged up by a piss head like Binny! But Jack was so excited when he saw the wheel again by the Echo Arena, I just had to give him a go.
As we went round and round on the Wheel looking over the city (three times), I watched his dirty little face light up as we looked down at the tiny people on the ground. I suddenly felt sick and sad all at the same time…. It was me I could see in this kid; this kid was ME when I was his age… And I’d never wish that on anyone.
The cop shop would have to wait…
After the scran I took the kid for a walk down by the dock. He’d started talking, and he’d said his name was Jack and he was five. He didn’t look five, so I don’t know if he was telling the truth, or whether he was too young to know how old he was.
We sat by the Mersey and looked out at the lights. I made sure Jack sat further back so he wouldn’t fall in. I’d forgotten how much I loved the docks, especially at night. I used to come here every day but hadn’t been here for months. I love this city as much as I love Penny Salerno… and I felt I was losing both.
Jack seemed much happier now, in fact he wouldn’t shut up about the lights and the reflections in the water. But I knew exactly where he was coming from… I felt the same way about it. No matter how much shite this world throws at you, just sitting on that dock staring out over the River Mersey makes you forget about it…. I can’t explain why, but it does.
I bought Jack an ice cream on the way back to the house with my stash. He’d stopped asking about his dad by the time we’d ate the pie and chips, and he just kept asking if we could go on the big wheel by the Echo Arena that I’d shown him earlier.
The house was still cold and dark when we got back at nine o’clock, so I let Jack look at the pics in my National Geographic mags. He fell asleep on the bed about five minutes later. I put a blanket over him and then took some painkillers the hozzy had given me before lying on my back on the floor (couldn’t lie any other way ’cause of my ribs… they were in bulk).
I spent the night listening out for me ma getting back from the boozer… hopefully she could tell me why the kid was here. If she hasn’t turned up in the morning I’ll take Jack on the big wheel by the Echo Arena – I haven’t even been on it myself.
Posted: February 12, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: Albert Dock, big wheel, Binny, Echo Arena Liverpool, Fiction, Humour, Liverpool, Liverpool Docks, Me Ma, Mersey, Merseyside, Penny Salerno, River Mersey
Tell me this, right? If you were walking passed someone who was getting beaten to a pulp by two Italian mafiosos, one with a knife… what would you do?? Would you stop and jump in there to help, or would you pretend that you didn’t see it, and walk on by? I ask the question ’cause I’m lying in this hospital bed with a broken nose and five broken ribs wondering how the f&ck can people walk straight passed something like that in broad daylight, and pretend nothing’s happening. Life and the people in it surprise me everyday…
Just want to say to all you lot out there…. Happy New Year to yez all! As Mr. Butcher, our Religious Education teacher always says.. what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! (He’s dead boss for an R.E. teacher – he tells jokes and everything!)
I’m still alive, and next year I’m going to live even better.
Have a good one, and I’ll catch up with yez all in 2013!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!
Luv from Tommy Scouse
x (P.S. The kiss is just a sign of thank you.. it doesn’t mean I’m a slushy wimp or nothing, ok?! )
Posted: November 22, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: Bacon butties, Blade, Coffee, Fiction, flick knife, flicky, Great Homer Street Market, Greaty Market, Humour, Liverpool, Merseyside, Weapon, Zani
TIDDLEDY WINKS (Photo credit: psd)
I’ve had two weeks of Zani’s heavies’ giving me the evils across the bacon butties at Greaty Market. Last week one of the dickheads was even hard-faced enough to buy a coffee from me! I tried to make out like I didn’t know who he was, but he was staring at me the whole time, and he could see I was shitting myself. I was hoping he’d look away so I could gob in his black coffee, but he was watching me like a hawk.
It’s been a few weeks and still they haven’t pounced yet… but they’re there every Saturday, staring at me near the stall opposite. I don’t know what their game is but I know it’s not tiddlywinks! I’ve started clearing up with Pete at the end of the day, and shutting up the van with him.. that way he feels like he has to offer me a lift home, even though it’s in the other direction from where he’s going.
I’ve got myself a flicky though – all I can do now is wait…..
Posted: November 7, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: Bacon butties, Fiction, Great Homer Street Market, Greaty Market, Headbutt, Humour, Italian, Knives, Liverpool, Mafia, Merseyside, Penny Salerno, School, scouse kiss, Self Defence, The Butty Van, Weapons, Zani
BACON-BUTTY (Photo credit: johnb/Derbys/UK.)
I did such a boss job on The Butty Van (that’s what the burger van in Greaty Market is called), Pete, the owner, asked if I wanted a job! Every Saturday I’m working from ten till four on the van. He gives me forty nicker in my hand. If the bizzies turn up and I haven’t ducked in time, then I have to say Pete is my uncle, and I’m just helping him out for free. Sorted! 🙂
NOW I’ve finally got the money to take Penny Salerno out, but she won’t talk to me ever since I accidentally gave her cousin Zani a scouse kiss! I’ve knocked at her house twice, and tried to talk to her at school, but she just said I’m not the lad she thought I was. I’ve tried to explain that Zani had robbed my sales, and that I hadn’t meant to headbutt him; my head had just met with the bit between his eyes that’s all. But Penny won’t have none of it, she just says she doesn’t even want to look at me. She says I broke his nose! I tried to explain that I didn’t mean to (even if he did deserve it!).
I’ve been wondering why I haven’t had a knock on the door from the bizzies for assault. Then, on Saturday while I was doling out a bacon and egg roll with mushrooms to a customer on The Butty Van, I noticed two fellas in their twenties giving me the evils near the stall opposite. They stood there for about five minutes before whistling over to me. When I looked up one of them pretended to slice his throat with his hand before they walked away. I don’t mind telling you, I wasn’t feeling too good when I walked home off the van, especially now it’s getting darker earlier. But there was no sign of anyone on my way home. I’d never seen the fellas before, but I bet you a burger and chips that they were Mafioso related to Zani, and I don’t want to be waking up with a horse’s head in my bed! (I’ve seen The Godfather!)
I’ve never felt the need to carry a weapon, but somehow I think things are changing…