Anthony gave me a lift home on Boxing day.   He said I could stay as long as I wanted, but I had to go and face me ma.  It would have been the best Chrimbo ever if me ma had been there too.

Between Chrimbo and the New Year me ma was down the boozer most of the time – with the odd night zombied out in the living room or in bed.  What hurt me most was that she hadn’t even asked me where I was on Christmas day.  She  came in off her face as usual on Boxing day night after I came back from Anthony’s house, and tried to kiss me and wish me merry Christmas,  but the words wouldn’t come out.  I just stared at her – disgusted.  She could see I wasn’t happy.   She lurched forward and tried to swipe at me, but I stepped backwards and she fell onto the first few stairs.   When I tried to help her up, she pushed me away, ‘You miserable bastard!’ she screamed, as she attempted to stand up on her feet.

She practically crawled on her hands and knees up to bed.. and I just let her go.

After that I spent most of the school holidays over New Year just sitting on the dock, fishing.. it kept me out of the house.  I’ve spent most of the last few months trying to avoid Binny, but now I was avoiding me ma.

English: Fireworks

Image via Wikipedia

New Year’s Eve I went down to the dock by the Wheel and watched all the fireworks.. it was amazing.   The sky lit up, and everyone seemed dead happy.

Why couldn’t I be that happy?  Why couldn’t I have a new year to look forward to?

The thought of going back to school made me feel sick.. all the other kids talking about their Christmas, and what Xbox games they got.  And there will I be, a huge knot in my stomach getting bigger and heavier.. and nothing to say.

It was then while I watched those fireworks on New Year’s Eve I made a decision… I was going to go to Strangeways and find my dad!

  1. celticshaman says:

    Strangeways! Yes.

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