Been to seven dentists around the city looking for one that would fix my teeth.  Five said they were private, one said they weren’t accepting new patients, and the last one said they’d treat me, but I needed to bring in a birth certificate and some I.D.  Where the bleedin’ hell would my birth certificate be? I bet me ma hasn’t got a clue.  Bet she can’t even remember giving birth to me, never mind knowing where my birth certificate is!

I’ve always thought that I was probably left on someone’s doorstep by me ma when I was born, but then she had been gutted when the bizzies found out where she lived and gave me back.

Kenny Dalglish, manager of Liverpool FC.

Kenny Dalglish - Courtesy of Wikipedia

I want to go to school tomorrow ’cause it’s my last footy practice before the match against Childwall Boys on Saturday… I can’t miss that.   They beat us 2 – 0 last time we played them, and I’m determined to get one past the smug gets this time….  BACK OF THE NET!!!!!!!  STICK THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT.. YOU SMUG GETS!!!!.   But the thought of someone accidentally knocking into me and banging my face makes me want to throw up!  But can’t let King Kenny (Dalglish) down can I?  I’m not going to be able to just cry off a match because I’ve got tooth ache when I’m playing for Liverpool am I?

Oh well… Let’s hope there’s some whiskey under the settee so I can get some sleep tonight!

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Comments
  1. judithatwood says:

    First, the practical thing — If you were born in Liverpool, you can get a copy at the city clerk’s office, (or the British equivalent,) I’m pretty sure. Now, what I really want to say is that I absolutely love the term “smug gets.” I know so many smug gets, and I never know what to call them — until now. Thanks, and best of luck at the footy match!

  2. He doesn’t look right in a suit does he? King Kenny.

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