After a crappy summer of dodging me ma and her needles and dreaming up exciting ways I could have Binny knocked off, I was glad to be at school (yeah, I know…Dead weird eh!). It was good to see Penny Salerno and her shiny black long hair everyday; I didn’t need to wait a whole week to meet her on a Saturday anymore. But I don’t know if she looked at me in a very good light when we had a bet on the way home from school…. Penny reckoned that I’d be arrested if I went and sat on one of those Lamb-Bananas in town. I bet her twenty pence that there’s no way that someone can be arrested for sitting on a Lamb-Banana. So we shook hands on it. I sat on the nearest Lamb-Banana to prove my point…. and found out that I owed Penny twenty pence, ’cause you CAN be arrested for sitting on a Lamb-Banana!
Whether it was the actual ‘sitting’ on it that got me arrested, or whether it was the actual pushing the bizzy over onto his arse as he tried to man-handle me off the Lamb-Banana that actually put the nail in the coffin.. I’m not really sure which. Either way, I found myself down the cop-shop being talked down to by a bizzy who thought he was interrogating an al-Qaeda suspect (he was obviously a new recruit who was looking at this opportunity to make a first impression on his fellow bizzy officers!).
I said to him ‘ Look mate.. all I did was sit on a Lamb-Banana! You haven’t just foiled a major bomb plot to blow up the Liverbuildings!’
Well… the word ‘bomb’ was enough to have a second bizzy come in and treat me like a terrorist suspect.. both not a lot older than me, and full of shit.
I was in that cop-shop for nearly 3 hours, not a glass of water, not a phone call! If it wasn’t for the fact that they let me go without charge after 3 hours, they were dead lucky ’cause I’d have put a counter assault claim in for how that copper man-handled me off the Lamb-Banana, and the fact that I didn’t get my rights to a solicitor and phone call down at the station. They got off lightly there!
As I walked outside and smelt the fresh air of freedom, there was Penny.. tearful and red-eyed, waiting for me! She ran to me and put her arms tight around me, bursting into tears. I was overcome myself – she was so beautiful! She DID really care for me! This wasn’t something I witnessed in my life very often. My heart felt like it was going to burst as I felt her arms around me, and her tears against my face.
I really think I’m in love with Penny Salerno….