Posts Tagged ‘Dreams’

Jack has turned out to be my bezzy mate in loads of ways (well, not forgetting Regal of course!) You wouldn’t believe he was only five. He’s dead funny, and makes me laugh even when I’m feeling sad.  I hate it when me ma doesn’t come home from the boozer, or there’s nothing for Jack to eat in the cupboard, ’cause I’m terrified that social services will come and take him into care and leave me on my own.   Or even worse than that, I’m afraid they’ll put me into care instead, and leave Jack with Binny and me ma – who’d take care of him then?

It’s my job to look after him.. and if that means getting out of this shit hole of a house and away from Binny and me ma… that’s what we’ll do.

I'll see you all right, Jack.

I’ll see you all right, Jack

Photo by Jilly Gardiner


Been to seven dentists around the city looking for one that would fix my teeth.  Five said they were private, one said they weren’t accepting new patients, and the last one said they’d treat me, but I needed to bring in a birth certificate and some I.D.  Where the bleedin’ hell would my birth certificate be? I bet me ma hasn’t got a clue.  Bet she can’t even remember giving birth to me, never mind knowing where my birth certificate is!

I’ve always thought that I was probably left on someone’s doorstep by me ma when I was born, but then she had been gutted when the bizzies found out where she lived and gave me back.

Kenny Dalglish, manager of Liverpool FC.

Kenny Dalglish - Courtesy of Wikipedia

I want to go to school tomorrow ’cause it’s my last footy practice before the match against Childwall Boys on Saturday… I can’t miss that.   They beat us 2 – 0 last time we played them, and I’m determined to get one past the smug gets this time….  BACK OF THE NET!!!!!!!  STICK THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT.. YOU SMUG GETS!!!!.   But the thought of someone accidentally knocking into me and banging my face makes me want to throw up!  But can’t let King Kenny (Dalglish) down can I?  I’m not going to be able to just cry off a match because I’ve got tooth ache when I’m playing for Liverpool am I?

Oh well… Let’s hope there’s some whiskey under the settee so I can get some sleep tonight!

After thinking about New York yesterday.. I dreamt last night that I was on one of those dirty great big cruise ships sailing into New York Harbour.  And I could see the Statue of Liberty, with her little crown with people in it.  I was waving to the people in the crown.  They looked dead happy.  And I was dead happy.   I looked over on a chair on-deck, and there was me ma, smiling and waving;  dressed in a long pink dress and a hat like they wear at the races… I’d never seen her look so happy.. she looked younger.  She’s 36 years old, but looks more like 50 most of the time.   But there she was laughing, dead happy, with not a wrinkle on her face.   I’d even say she looked quite pretty.  I felt on top of the world.

But then, in this dream, me ma reached under her chair and pulled out a bottle – it was the whiskey.    I screamed at her to stop, that she didn’t need it, that I could look after her.. that she didn’t need the bottle as her comforter.   But she just threw her head back and laughed, and took a huge swig from the bottle.   She looked old again.. old and wrinkled.   I was crying.   Tears rolling down my face.. but she just kept laughing and drinking.

I woke up then.. before we reached the harbour.   My pillow was wet where I was crying for real.   Thank God it was a dream.  But then I walked along the landing to me ma’s room.. and the bed hadn’t been slept in.. It wasn’t a dream after all…