Posts Tagged ‘School uniform’

a traditional breakfast with egg and toasts

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I was woken up by me ma shouting my name.  It startled me and I sat up quick.  I then heard her shout words I’d never heard her shout in my life before, ‘Tommy wake up! Your breakfast is ready!’.

I just sat there,  staring around my bedroom, checking I was where I should be!   Yes….. there were seven different types and colours of wallpaper on the wall, torn and ripped in places…  going back years and years before I came here.    The stinking green carpet was still there, with God knows what stains all over it (stains from long before I arrived here).   And about eight pairs of boxer shorts on the floor in the corner,  different colours, ages, and of varying stages of dirt infestation!    I can wear one pair of boxers for up to 4 days by wearing them twice one way, and twice  inside out! It saves on the washing, and stops them from getting worn out too quick  (the colours fade really quick when you wash them too much!).  We’ve got a washing machine, but it’s never worked since I moved back in with me ma from foster parents.  So I just wash them in the bathroom sink in cold water when they’re four times dirty!

Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that this WAS my bedroom, but the woman shouting ‘Breakfast is ready’ downstairs  could NOT be MY ma!  Breakfast for me ma consisted of two ciggies and a double shot of instant coffee in boiling water!

I got up, pulled on my jeans and walked slowly onto the landing… surely that wasn’t hot toast and fried food I could smell coming from downstairs?!  I tiptoed down, and really carefully put my head around the door into the kitchen.

SHiiitt!  It was like something from Invasion of the body snatchers!  There was a woman, who looked very much like me ma, standing once again at the cooker, flipping a fried egg out of the pan onto a piece of hot toast!

When me ma saw me she brought the plate over with the toast and fried egg on it, and placed it on the table.   ‘Sit down Tommy!’.    I did as I was told.  Didn’t know what else I could say.  The knife and fork was already on the table.   I smothered the fried egg on toast with the tomato sauce she’d recently bought, and I tucked in, but didn’t take my eyes off me ma, who was pouring me some fresh orange from a carton.   She wouldn’t even put fresh orange in vodka ‘cause it was too expensive!

That breakfast was even better than the pie and chips I had on Friday!  I put down my knife and fork after I’d scraped the last of the egg yolk off my plate with my finger.   I know I should have been enjoying it for what it was, but I just couldn’t help feeling suspicious of her actions!

She watched me as I knocked back the orange juice, ‘Why haven’t you got  your school uniform on?’ she said.  That’s something she’d never said to me before either.    I polished off my orange juice and stared at her, trying to suss her out.

‘What have you done with me ma?!’  I was half joking, and half serious.    She smiled and ruffled my hair with the palm of her hand.   

‘Go and get your uniform on, you’re going to be late for school’.   I just couldn’t get over it!   She didn’t usually give a shit if I went to school or I went out on the rob!  As long as I wasn’t around her all day, reminding her of her responsibilities.  

I was up those stairs in seconds changing into my uniform; a pair of grey school kecks, a white shirt and blue jumper.   They were a bit creased where they’d been squashed into one of my drawers, but they didn’t look so bad when I stretched them over my body.  

With no Binny around for the last few days, me ma seemed to be making a real effort.  God, I wished and prayed that this was going to last!  Please God.. you don’t give me much.. so please give me this.

I was almost waved off to school! All right, she didn’t actually stand at the door and wave me off, but she shouted ‘bye’ from the kitchen.    It was only when I stepped foot outside the front door that I heard her shout something which brought everything crashing back down to earth…

‘Make sure you get back from school by four!’.

I stopped in my tracks and turned, knowing that this was going to be the motive for her body snatchers behaviour!  ‘Why?’ I shouted through to her.. feeling sick to the stomach as I waited for the answer.

She paused for a second… ‘The social worker’s coming at quarter past to check that everything is going okay’.

I knew it!  I F&CKING KNEW IT!  She was only being nice.. like a proper ma, because she wanted to fool the social worker!  She wanted me to say good things about how she cooks for me and makes sure I go to school and stuff.   I should have known better than to think she’d change!  No wonder I hadn’t seen any of Binny’s stuff around the house in the last few days… they were hiding it until the social worker has gone.

Well how stupid was I to believe it!

I walked out, slamming the door.    Didn’t go to school… just walked to the dock, took my school jumper off and wellied it as far as I could into theMersey….  F&cking school… F&cking Mothers…. Who needs them anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!